Mel’s story
Mel Fryer is a Nursing Assistant on Alexandra Ward at our Telford site
I have worked here three years this October and I absolutely love it. It’s very, very rewarding. You see different things every day, you could never say that every day is the same. You meet such lovely patients, and their families.
I don’t class my job as a job. I class it as something that I enjoy doing. I look after people that are poorly and I get a lot of satisfaction out of it.
Some people say I couldn’t do what you do, but that’s an old fashioned way of seeing a hospice. I had a chat with a lady with breast cancer and explained about the Hospice, that you can come in and have symptom control or pain relief, you can also come to the day hospice or as an out-patient.
You just try and explain that more laughter goes on here than tears. People feel instantly welcomed as soon as they walk through the door. A lot of patients come in and they’re frightened, but when they’ve only been with us a couple of hours they feel safe. They know they’re in a place that they feel comfortable with.
I try and tell people that hospices are different. We give support. We’re here to listen, to talk to. We try and do everything for the patient and make them feel at home here. They’ve got their own rooms and can put their pictures up or bring pets in. You’ve got a dog or a cat, well bring it in! What are your visiting times? We haven’t got any, come and go as you please. And people love that. They just can’t get their heads round it.
A lot of them have spent so much time in hospital, they can’t get used to the fact that we can sit and talk to them for half an hour, 45 minutes or whatever. They think we’ve got to rush and they say ‘We can’t keep you because you’ve got to go and do this…’ I say ‘No, I’m with you now for as long as you want.’
One of the first things that I found hard was the fact that I could sit and talk with a patient or their family without having my manager come up to me and say ‘Melanie, haven’t you got anything else better to do?’ I’ll never forget Maureen (the Hospice Manager) saying ‘Mel, that patient is there today. Those jobs will be there tomorrow. So you sit and be, talk to that patient and family for however long you’re needed.’ I couldn’t get my head around that at first but I soon adapted!
It’s like one on one care. We’re not set in routines. Its 24 hour, seven day care in here. If a patient wants to sleep for a few hours we just put a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on the door and we don’t disturb them. It’s really, really good. Whatever the patient wants, we go with that.
When we lose a patient it’s hard. You really get to know their family, you get to know them, then they’ve gone. In that afternoon there could be another patient in that room. You’ve not got to forget about that person, but then the same tender loving care goes to the next patient that walks through the door because they’re just as important as the one you’ve just lost.
When you’re with a family and their loved one is coming to the end of their life we tell them what to expect, that their breathing will change and things like that. When you’re with a family and you’ve got to know them for a few days or a few weeks they may want you in the room. It’s a real honour. Some people would probably think what a really bizarre thing to say but honestly, it is a complete honour to be with the family and you feel… You don’t feel sorry for them but you feel they’re not suffering any more. You can see almost the relief in some people’s faces that they’re not struggling any more.
We look after families to just the same level as we look after their loved ones. A lot of people struggle at home and when they come in here they feel instant relief. Anything they need we’re there for them, and it just takes pressure off the family. They sometimes feel they’ve let them down because they couldn’t do things for them, but then they come in here and they see a change in their loved one, they see them smile, and sometimes they hadn’t done that for days.
Every patient is different but you always do good by that patient. Whatever they request or whatever they want to do, 99% of the time we get it done for them.
A lot of people cannot comment enough on what a wonderful place this is. The amount of times I hear that in a week is amazing, which is great. They’ve just lost somebody yet they can still say what a wonderful place it is. And a thank you like that goes a million miles. Not being big headed, but you feel ‘That’s nice that is, that’s good.’ Because that’s what you want to do.
I look after patients like I would want to be looked after if anything happened to me. None of us know what’s round the corner. Working here has made me look at life a lot differently. It made me feel how lucky I am that I can just get up and go to the bathroom, I can get up and have anything to eat any time I want.
I get involved in the fundraising because I realise how important it is for people. If this place wasn’t here, if this service wasn’t here for people, it would be terrible. I like to do it – like the big bike ride we did last year, it made me go goose pimply just because I knew that I was part of it.
If we didn’t have these fundraising events – the Midnight Walk, things like that – we’d be lost. It’s why it means such a lot when people say that they will be donating money to this place. When people are overwhelmed by the treatment they’ve had here, or that their loved one has been able to have their last few days with complete dignity, with their family with them, in no pain, it’s their way of giving back.
When I look at patients coming in every day I know how much satisfaction people get from this place being here. Not just the people who come on the ward, but also the day unit. That day once a week for them is their life. They’re like a family down there because they’ve all been through the same thing and they’ve shared so much together.
Every day is different. A new adventure every day. It’s always a learning curve. I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else. I love it. I really love it.
